We, the First Christian Catalyst Church of Fairhope CCCF, are gathered here today to mentally co-mingle with one another on the subject of Christian Values. Our congregation is in the midst of a political takeover of the church’s selected candidates for political office in Baldwin County.
As you all know, our brother member, Tim Can’t, was defeated and Fairhope has now in control of a Public Servant, that cannot happen. Since the election Church members have done everything they can to disrupt the Fairhope Government and attack the Mayor, they have failed so far, however they have pledged to keep the bullying and obstruction, front and center.
This Fairhope branch of the CCCF, is particularly proud of our City Council Members, and senior good ole boys, who are present today. Despite allegations of wrong doing, ranging from various obvious conflicts of interests, hiding business ventures under LLC’s, police reports involving crimes against juveniles, bid rigging and the exclusive and lucrative contract, a certain member received; we have stuck together and made Catalyst proud
I remind all of you that when you are under fire, deflect, reject and obstruct. Fire back with issues like schools, police, boat ramps, and armed Police at public schools; that always works. The tried and true subject of high taxes is synonymous with illegal immigrants and sanctuary cities.
That brings to mind our Mission Trip to Mexico… we will be extending that by a week, to a two week trip, so members may integrate with the locals; please leave your donation at the door
Today we wish to acknowledge our Catalyst City Council member who has filed yet another merit less complaint against the Fairhope Mayor. I know past complaints have failed; however our sister church in Bay Minette, has parishioners in high places.
A CCCF member for years and a true and loyal Catalyst member for years runs the newspaper. We pray today that the public servants and vast population is asleep and we thank the local radio station and tabloid paper for all their support in providing slanted news to the limited audience they represent. Praise be Johnathan Armstrong and his continued support, on social media.
Enough about Fairhope, let us move on to our esteem Catalyst Hippocrates running for County Commission and State Senate.
The County Commission race for place 3 is a doozy. We have had this seat secured by one of our most loyal Catalyst members for years. Unfortunately he has become too successful and his business interests are becoming public. I stand before you today and praise God for such a Hippocrate! He will be missed. Even I will admit it is hard to run a skunk against a peach, please show him the exit door.
As you know once a year, CCCF gives an award to the most unethical Hypocrites in our Catalyst Church. I am Proud to say Mr. Elliott has far exceeded any of the competition. When it comes to using the facade of being a Christian, no one I repeat no one, has out-done Mr. Elliott’s campaign. He has raised over $500,000 from special interest groups and his negative media platform hits every commandment of CCCF.
His attack on his opponent could not make us more proud. His campaign manager also represents the Baldwin County Schools. The School Superintendent, as well as the Sheriff, have joined their fellow Catalyst member in support. This allowed the wool to be pulled over the teachers eyes while getting support from the Superintendent and Sheriff. This move should go in our CCCF political handbook for hypocrites.
His manipulation of facts, promises and accomplishments have reached a new low, Please a round of applause.
I close today with on short message, CATALYST and CCCF forever.
The closing hymn will be sung by the infamous Judge Thomasson, aka Catalyst Queen, please sing along as you exit,
“ALL THE CHILDREN”
VOTE JULY 17th It is up to you join the church or VOTE THEM OUT.
Pope Francis chill.
If we the people of Baldwin County do not vote out these sorry, worthless, self serving, lying pieces of crap while at the same time keep an close eye on the lying and unethical people who are supporting them. We are going to lose what we have been working so hard for all of our lives. Listen all you 18-39 year olds. These people think of you as ignorant fools that don’t care about making a difference. I am pleading with all the good people in Baldwin County. We are on a roll. Kick these hypocrites out of office and take control of “YOUR COUNTY “. These Catalyst can only promise with no delivery. It’s been this way for a while, I’m a Christian, I go to Church, you can believe in me. Piss on all you politicians that are hypocrites. If you have to go to church and scream at the top of your lungs that you are a Christian and we should be voting for you, you are dead wrong. IF y’all had been showing us that y’all are Christians. We might think y’all are. But we know and have known that God doesn’t mean anything to y’all and all of the Catalyst are just plain full of SHIT!!!
No one is in this church.
Man this is terrible. From someone that’s not clued in either way – you’re just making vague accusations. You don’t put a name to your allegations, and when you do you’re not specific. Who filed a complaint against the Mayor? For what? Was it even close to being deserved? Is there a reasonable explanation? The county commissioners business dealings are about to be exposed? What business dealings? If they’re not exposed yet how do you know what they are? If you know what they are tell folks and not in some vague allegation. Lay it out. What’s the paper trail? I’m a former active duty Navy guy who grew up locally and recently moved back so I don’t know either side, but you’re vague ramblings make me think you’re just mad about something personal and have no evidence to back up anything you say and are making it up.
I want to be a Deacon in this “Church.” When is the pork dinner being served? Also, do we REALLY have to be true Christians, or just look that way to the gullible electorate. My true Gods are money, power, and being able to be above the law. Of course this church must have children because we need to use them for political props. All we have to do is say “But it is for the children…”
Our biggest donors are Truland, Bellaton, and D.R. Horton. Our Pope Emeritus is Lynn Stacey and his alter boy is Scott Boone.
I think I would fit right in.